Fake Nails & False Perceptions!

2 September 2024 58 2

The inspiration behind today’s blog is, believe it or not, fake nails.

For anybody who’s never had their nails done in a salon, it can be quite therapeutic and a self-care procedure. People love showing of their nails. If you’re like me and have podgy fingers with scars that showcase years of pent-up anxiety from skin
biting, then welcome and hello! There’s room for you at my table.Take a seat.

I have never had my nails done professionally before, as it can be quite pricey but worth it, especially if you tend to bite your nails. Fake nails can give them a chance to grow if they are particularly short.

I love to look at diferent nail styles on Instagram. I can get a bit carried away until I’m searching on there for hours, and I lose complete track of time! That’s social media for you.

I’m not here to talk about how fabulous nail art can be or showcase the different designs on offer. That’s not my intention. I do have a point to make, though, I promise.
So, while I was on holiday, I decided to stick on some fake nails. This has never one well in the past because it can get messy, especially if you don’t know how to judge the glue situation, and it literally gets everywhere!

Once the nails were on, nothing had changed. I was still very much me. My nails might’ve looked different, but I physically looked the same. From a birds-eye view, I realised that, outwardly, my nails were pristine, perfectly held together by the
invisible glue that was keeping them locked in place. From the outside looking in, nobody would suspect there was anything wrong with those nails—they appeared strong, put together, confident even.

Something occurred to me when I was observing them under closer inspection.

What lies beneath?

Yes, the nails had many qualities that were convincing the world nothing could possibly be wrong, but once I flipped my hands over and got a glimpse under the nail beds, that was when I realised two things:
1) I could see the glue spilling underneath, and it looked messy.
2) There were so many imperfections hidden from view. Nobody would suspect a thing unless they took a closer look.

This is relevant to mental health in our society today. Think about it—so many people are pretending to be okay when,
internally, they are passing away. A pair of fake nails signifies the ‘masking’ — but you can only hide behind them for so
long. Eventually, they’ll fall off, the cracks will begin to show, and realistically, they represent a false perception whereby people will assume ‘that a person has it all together. Their life must be so good. They must be happy.’

Nope–not always.

As I said, a closer inspection can speak a thousand words. By closer inspection, I mean always check up on your loved ones or friends. The people who are usually suffering the most are sometimes the people who appear the most confident. It
can be a facade.

Musicians, for example, are perceived as extremely confident individuals because, let’s face it, they can get up on stage and sing to crowds of people. That takes a lot of guts, but a lot of musicians struggle with their mental health, myself included.
I’m always writing songs about my mental health, and my upcoming album focuses on social anxiety, bullying, and other deeply personal topics. We all have our own personal monsters and half of the time, they are unseen.

Here is a poem I wrote about mental health:

We need to change our perspectives on mental health–we need to understand and recognise that it’s a very serious illness which can lead to disastrous consequences if help isn’t provided or isn’t treated. What I’ve noticed is that if you see a physical
injury, like somebody’s broken leg or arm, people will instantly flock to that person to check they’re okay. With mental health, this doesn’t happen. It should be approached with the same mentality, but some people’s attitudes lean towards the
‘you need to toughen up’ motto or the ‘snap out of it’ example, which is the worst thing you can possibly say to a person dealing with mental health.

You ask somebody ‘how are you?’ and the automatic response is ‘I’m okay,’ or ‘I’m fine,’ and that’s where it typically ends. What’s missing is a follow-up question like, ‘No. Seriously. How are you really?’, which might actually encourage the person to open up in ways they haven’t before because they know that they’re being listened to and that you care about their wellbeing.

Some people have been made to feel like sharing their emotions is a sign of weakness, especially men, as they are stereotypically associated with masculinity, being strong, keeping it together, and acting tough. However, everybody has
underlying insecurities or trauma that they have faced at some point in their lives, and being that person who encourages sharing, simply by offering a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, will make a huge difference, therefore inspiring more
meaningful conversations.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please don’t be afraid to reach out—whether that’s with a loved one, a trusted friend or a doctor. It’s always better to talk than to let your emotions bubble up inside and manifest into something bigger. That’ll only get out of control if it isn’t dealt with. You can’t carry that much weight on your shoulders on a daily basis. You’re not alone, and trust me, the best decision I ever made was telling someone how I felt.

Be careful with who you confide in, though. Make sure that person isn’t telling you to ‘toughen up’ or ‘snap out of it’ or even trying to make you feel guilty for feeling the way that you do by comparing your situation to theirs. Look for someone who listens and who doesn’t make you feel bad for wanting to be honest and open. I have opened up to the wrong people in the past, and I wish I had been more vigilant/cautious.